Today was rough. I received and looked through the packet from my doctor's office and the whole thing hit me hard. All of the test needed before hand, the reality of the recovery time, etc. It really freaked me out. Some days I am totally excited and know I am doing the right thing, then there are days like today where I am wondering "what the hell am I doing?!" I think it is the fear of the unknown and the pain and the rollercoaster ride the first few weeks will bring. I never thought of myself as a control freak but haha I think I am. Then just the normal worry about, work and when I will be really be able to go back, when I will be able to drive, walk, and just be mentally back to my old self. Now that I write this I almost feel silly for having a minor freak out earlier... I mean this is a major surgery, of course the recovery is going to be some time but it will be so much better than dealing with daily pain, worrying about not getting a parking spot close when I run errands, when I sit for a while and get up and the pain that follows when I take my first few steps. Dealing with the limp that annoys the heck out of me and how tired i am trying to explain when people ask "are you limping, what did you do to your leg?" At least now I can say "oh I had a THR, thats right, I am a 37 year old with a bionic hip." That sounds much more bad ass than my current response of mumbling, "oh my hip is sore" then changing the subject.
Ok enought rambing for now... tomorrow is a new day (and Saturday, YAH) and I am sure I will feel better after a good nights sleep... G'Nite!
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